Life isn’t Easy
“I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.” – Joan Didion.
Writing has always been my sanctuary for as long as I can remember. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I can always say the things I want to say through letters merely engraved on paper. Because, sometimes, I feel like I was only given a mouth in order to keep it shut. Ironic isn’t it? Because you would normally see me as the girl – completely different – noisy and just loitering around. Little do they know, I just don’t speak about the things going on inside my head.
I write almost all the ideas I can think of down. And, when there’s no paper, it becomes etched into the four corners of my mind. Maybe, another reason why I like writing, is the fact that you’re the only one who can criticize yourself. Or you can never get rejected. You can whine. Have a good time. Or shed tears. And nobody will witness you do those stuff.
You will always be alone. Sad, but, there’s nobody who’ll make your life more miserable. To add more wounds into your well injured life.
“You get ideas from daydreaming. You get ideas from being bored. You get ideas all the time. The only difference between writers and other people is we notice when we’re doing it.” – Neil Gaiman. Daydreaming. It’s my most beloved past time. I dream of my own Xanadu. My haven. Located at the edge of the world. While it’s at the verge of dying. An as I peep through a small hole on one sealed door, I see my life – so peaceful, so quiet, so…normal – as I try to grasp the happenings in my life. Trying to enjoy the last few moments of my life, before it finally comes to an end. But, I guess that’s just way too far away from reality. So, it’s better just to forget it.
Whenever I try to approach people regarding my writing ideas, I only get one feedback. “Do you have problems or something? Because this magnum opus of yours seems rather disturbing.” That’s what they always say. I just can’t seem to get it. How come they ask me whether I have “problems?” and, why do they find it disturbing? I was only just expressing my ideas. This is one more reason why I only write down my ideas. I know I’m the only one who can understand them. And no one ever will. I guess I’ll just have to stick to that fact. Maybe a quote by Isabel Colegate saying “It is not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one’s thoughts. It saves one having to bother anyone else with them” really is true.
Are any of you familiar with the quote made by Fran Lebowitz saying “Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try”? well, familiar or not, I only have one more question to ask you…Do you think it’s true? Because for me, it isn’t true. It never was. And it never will be true. A person’s life story would make more than a good book. It will be a great one. The making of that book just relies on the one who will write it. And, if by any chance it was badly written, who cares? It your life story. Yours. I mean, look at mine. I’m just filling this with my opinions – especially those that don’t even matter much. But still, I continue writing. “Thus, in a real sense, I am constantly writing autobiography, but I have to turn it into fiction in order to give it credibility.” – Katherine Paterson.
An author. No, A novelist. That’s life career I desire to have someday. “No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one.” – a quote by Robert Byrne. Witty. Because writing a book – or any kind of reading material – isn’t as easy as it seems. Just like Thomas Mann once said… “A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.” Narrating fiction as if it only happened a few moments ago. Illustrating real life stories through an explicit display of words on a blank sheet of paper. Yeah, that’s writing.
Do you find my deep thoughts quite disturbing too? Well, I’m sorry. You are just like all the others. I guess my writing reflects a lot about me. Like it or not, that’s just who I am. Nothing more; nothing less. And if you seem to agree with my ideas, then, I’m so sorry too. You are as insane as I have become. But, don’t fret…
“I’ve only written a tenth of what I know – and they’re already screaming.” – Albert Camus.
Hi. I’m Julia. I’m 15. Yes, I am a high school student. If you’ve been a long-time follower of my blog, you’ll notice that me actually posting my work is new. No, unfortunately I haven’t still gotten over my issues regarding letting other people read my work—yes, it is one of my major insecurities, right next to being socially awkward—so I’m afraid things like this is nothing but a random spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. I have a friend who’s currently a sophomore (Chloe) and I’ve posted this for her. Haha. I apologize in advance for any kind of grammatical errors, misspellings or syntax errors I have made. Also, with all the quotes I have in my work, I also would like to apologize if ever I have misquoted someone or credited the wrong person for the quote I’ve used. If you ever notice such mistakes, please feel free to inform me of the corrections you’d like to make for the betterment of my work. Please and thank you. :) For comments/suggestions, feel free to send me a message.
Postscript: Once again, please do forgive me for in my youth, it was unfortunate that, from hindsight, I can say that I didn’t know any better. I was young and dumb, but it still was fun (yes, reference to 3685, a song by The Spill Canvas).
:)
